Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
