I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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