Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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