i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Best friends brother. Beat that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
