**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
