so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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