im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
