i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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