Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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