i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
