Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
