If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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