Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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