look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I still have a little drunk in my system
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
