wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
