I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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