I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
