it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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