Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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