One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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