Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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