It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
