hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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