Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
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