these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
