whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
