My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Alive.
So much puke
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
