Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
