You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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