can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
