I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
