I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
