I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
