we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
