She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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