he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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