I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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