Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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