You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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