I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
