If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
