I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
