it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
