gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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