Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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