Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Randomize