Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
