He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
