No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
