she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
