i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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